Valentine’s Day: Self-love and appreciation

Since it is the month of love, let’s emphasize on self-love. Brene Brown says: “Talk to yourself like someone you love”.

What comes to mind when you think about that?

Well to me, I think about all the times I speak negatively about myself to others. And all the times I could have spoken life and loved myself unconditionally.

My stomach is fat. I feel fat. I have stretch marks. I can’t make that speech. I can’t do this. I can’t do that, because of this.

What!

What do you do when you hear your friend or your colleague saying, “oh no, I can’t do this TV interview”? Or your friend speaking down on herself. Don’t you stop them and encourage them? That’s what I do. I try to change their perspective and make them see themselves the way I see them. As amazing, motivational beings. So why can’t we do this for ourselves?

I remember passing a lady giving a compliment to her friend about how good she looks in her dress. Her friend gave a self-loathing response. How terrible is that? Sometimes I find myself doing the same thing.

Listen, I know I’m not perfect, this is something I struggle with too, but I need to share this. We need to give ourselves that extra love. And we need to stop ourselves whenever we go off self-loathing. It won’t be easy, but we can always start somewhere.

By looking in the mirror every morning and/or night and starting with “You’re beautiful”, or “You were amazing at X today” or, “You’re going to be amazing at X tomorrow”. “You look good in that dress”, “I love your smile”, “You’ve got beautiful eyes”. Simple positive things you’re always telling others. Why not tell say that to yourself?

We should also start counting our blessings. Penning down all we are grateful for. Things in your life and putting it somewhere you can see it every day. Even better, hang it by your mirror, so that you can get into the mindset of being positive. Pen down positive things on sticky notes to make it look funky!

Another thing to do is start surrounding yourself with positive people. People that speaks positively over their lives and speak positively over yours. Lift as you rise. That’s a very powerful statement. Because as you reach that point in your life, encouraging and lift others around you too.

We need to unlearn all those negative thinking and talks. Give yourself that time to adore who you are. You were uniquely, fearfully and wonderfully made.

Remember, you are worthy of being loved. You are even more worthy of loving yourself and speaking life over your life.

So, go out there, talk to yourself as someone you love, and do so unapologetically.

And use that same kind of love you give others, add a bit more extra and love yourself.

Because if you don’t, then who will? 😉

The time I wanted to be an exotic dancer (for extra cash)

Hello there 🙂

Welcome to my first post after a few years. Hope you enjoy this read 🙂

Some time back, I started a new job and was earning so little. I did have the option of leaving for a better salary, but I enjoyed my job, and this is when I started applying for part-time jobs. No one came back to me. Somehow, I came across exotic dancing, which I took the chance to apply for. It included a full body picture as well. I finally received a call back. Very excited for being contacted and curious, I emailed to ask what the dress attire is. He responded: trendy, funky and sexy. I thought, “but this is something I don’t have in my wardrobe!” Somehow, the attire he requested made me feel paranoid, not to mention the time of the interview, which was 5PM. I decided to ditch it.

Two months later, he contacted me again asking what’s stopping me from becoming a [exotic] dancer. I responded that I picked up a bit of weight and that I didn’t have anything in my wardrobe that fits – trendy, funky and sexy he requested. He then thanked me for my honesty and that was the end of that conversation.

Four months later, I happened to be in the area of the club. I wasn’t dressed up but was really looking forward to meeting him. I have this “thing” about meeting people I either speak to on the phone or email. He agreed to meet with me and said he would be available at 3PM. I freshened up in the public toilet and headed there. He was still in a meeting when I arrived, but I waited. I started feeling self-conscious. I didn’t help that each time I would catch one of the staff members watching me and whispering to each other when I caught them looking. I started coming up with all these negative thoughts of what they could be whispering about me.

Eventually his meeting finished, and he took me up to his office. The stairs had that twisting effect and was gold. There were dancing poles all around. Even one facing his office. Once there, he brought up our previous email about me not wanting to come because of my weight. I said yes, I might not be the ideal weight, but I am curvy, and I feel I do have potential. He then said that men from all over the world would come and see these dancers and would pay lots for them. He then made a comment that they would want to see beautiful women and women without cellulite. I didn’t even mention anything about cellulite to him. I felt so humiliated! I was not enough.

Despite how I felt, I still tried to make light of the situation by asking for a position as a bartender or waitress. He asked whether I’ve got experience in those jobs. I said no, but I can get the experience. He then went on to say that this is a 5-star company and that I would need to have experience from a 5-star company too. The meeting ended, which I thanked him for, and left. I felt like crying but wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing me in that state.

I feel so disgusted with how I allowed him to make me feel. I was so desperate for him to deem me worthy, even though he said those horrible things. I hated it.

What’s sick is the standards society brings that makes you think how a perfect woman is supposed to be. I’m glad that I was strong enough to get out of that mindset of the “perfect” society deemed fit. Even if it took years. I’m grateful for the women out there that speak out about this on a daily basis. They go against the standards society set up. That’s beauty.

We don’t need anyone to tell us or make us feel worthy. We should love ourselves enough to know that we are worthy. We need to love every inch of our bodies, even the flaws. That’s what make us perfect. I may not be the ideal weight or height an exotic dancer needs to be, but I am still beautiful even with all my flaws. Unapologetically beautiful. And no one can tell me otherwise.

People’s Words Should Not Affect Us

Many of us are fazed by what people say. Most of the time the hurtful things people speak about us or say to our face are not real and only their perception about us. They do not know what you’ve been through — the reason you’ve made the certain choice — or how you’ve been feeling.

Remember the old adage… “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”

We should learn not to judge others. We should learn to empathise.

With this, we can make a difference. We should treat others the way we would love to be treated.  (A very good friend said these words to me). This way we would be afraid to treat others wrong or even judge others. And even if we treat others a certain way — in the hope that our good is returned– and is not reciprocated, we shouldn’t change our ways. Our actions will be accounted for in the new future.
Make a difference, even if not to others, at least you’re making a difference in your own life.

With this keep in mind, everyone has their own perception and opinions, but then again, we should respect others and should you not agree, it’snot your place to judge.

XOXO

My thoughts on Britney Spears album

​After midnight and inspiration strucks while having coffee and listening to Britney Spears’s album. 
It’s absolutely and pretty cool. Unlike some of the songs she’s done (or maybe I’m just messing around, and she has?)
The more I listened to the songs on this album, I’ve realised that the music and sometimes the vocals sounds familiar. 

In it I hear Rihanna, Justin Bieber, Fifth Harmony, Selena Gomez and some old musical movies like Chicago or maybe one of Marilyn Monroe’s movies?

Below I’ll list some of the songs of Britney and the songs it sounds similar to:

– Just luv me: Justin Bieber and/or Selena Gomez

– Just like me: Rihanna

– Love me down: Fifth Harmony/Rihanna/Megan Trainor

– What you need: Christina Aguilera

– Better: Justin Bieber like

-Liar: Rihanna

What do you think? Let me know in the comments 🙂

My First Official Blog Post!

​I’ve been contemplating about how to start off my first official blog. And have been typing the same words over and over, for months!

So…I’ve decided to start off by (writing 😉 )  the reasons for starting this blog in the first place. 

1. Passion for helping: I love helping people and since I did not study and take up a career as a doctor/nurse I decided to find other ways of helping if not serving. 

2. Finding solace: There are many women out there experiencing internal/mental issues whether it revolves jealousy or even problems from their past. If you’re looking to find some solace or just to escape for normal life then this is the place to be. With me 😉 hahaa. 

Just kidding 

3. Looking for advice: you can also find tips on dealing with certain problems. Here will be a whole variety of topics to choose from.

4. Writing: I get a chance to do what I love read and write and also learn.

Nobody is perfect so do not judge by their outward appearance. You do not know what they are facing within.

Hoping I didn’t make a mistake by starting this blog, and forever inspiring people… in my own way that is ☺